Emily Rose Bean


God’s Garden

God’s garden has need of a little flower.

It has grown for a time here below.

But in tender love He took it above,

In more favorable clime to grow.



January 10, 2000 – October 9, 2003



            Our littlest angel Emily Rose Bean was born on January 10, 2000, a New Millennium baby. The youngest of 5 having -1 sister, Cristina, who, at the time of Emily’s death was 18 and 3 older brothers, Stephen age 15, Jack age 9 and Bobby age 5.  My husband and I had both been previously married, both his daughter Cristina and my oldest son Stephen were from prior marriages.  Emily was my only little girl and in a blink of an eye on October 9, 2003, the day before her brother and best friend, Bobby’s 6th Birthday she relocated to Heaven  

            I was 34 years old, and I was shocked when my Doctor, during a routine exam informed me that he could not renew my birth control pills because I was pregnant, very pregnant.  In fact, I was already 20 weeks into my pregnancy.  I had no signs of being pregnant; my weight was the same as always, no morning sickness and still had a normal monthly cycle. At first everyone was a bit reserved when I told them.  I remember my Mother saying to me, “after 3 children you’d think you would have known you were pregnant!’  When we found out from the Ultrasound that after 3 boys, finally, I was carrying a girl, we were so excited, everything was PINK from that day forward. The remainder of my pregnancy was normal although I was concerned by the lack of movement from my little girl.  She never kicked or turned but she had the hiccups more than not. My doctor did not seem too concerned because everything else was normal.

            By C-Section, my first, I delivered Emily she weighed in at 8 lbs. 6 oz. this is where they found that she had a Cleft Palate, which is a congenital fissure along the midline of the roof of the mouth, a gap.  You would never know unless you looked into her mouth otherwise she looked perfect.  Throughout her short life she had overcome more challenges than some do in a lifetime, unable to drink from a bottle or breast feed because she could not suck her feedings were a challenge,  she spent most of her sleeping time in her car seat for fear she would choke or suffocate if laying flat.  At 1 month she was hospitalized with pneumonia and at 8 months tubes were placed in her ears as well having plastic surgery to repair the cleft.  We were fortunate and blessed with excellent medical care from the Children’s Hospital of Orange County and the C.H.O.C Clinic’s Cranial Facial Team here in So. California. At 1 and a half years old she started going to The Providence Speech and Hearing Center next to C.H.O.C. here is where they discovered she had a slight hearing loss in her right ear.  From age 2 on she had a reoccurring rash on both arms, her doctor said it was probably just dry skin and never looked into it any further than that.  Just before school was to start Emily was sick and I took her to her Doctor she had an ear infection, a fever and that same rash again on her arms. The Dr. thought she may have strep throat and did a throat culture as well as prescribing her Amoxicillin. Nearly 2 weeks past before I heard from them as to the results of the culture which was negative.  By that time Emily was fine, so I thought.

            It was the beginning or the 2003 school year at St. John’s Lutheran School and Lamb’s Lot preschool, her brother Bobby was now in Kindergarten and Jack in 4th grade.  They had both went to Lamb’s Lot Preschool as well so Emily already knew the teachers and was familiar with the surroundings.  She was in the Mon., Wed., and Fri. 3 yr. old class from 8-11am accept for Wed. and Fri. she stayed until 3pm.she was so happy! 

                        On October 9th around 2pm I got a phone call from the director of the preschool, she wanted to let me know that when Emily had woken from her nap she complained that her eyes hurt. They were watery and red and looked as if she had allergies.  I left the house early to pick up everyone from school, Emily being first because of her eyes and when I saw her I thought due to the season it most likely was allergies.  She had no fever and had no other symptoms that I could tell I gave her Benedryl, a cold cloth to put on her eyes and waited to see if any relief was in sight. She played as usual, colored with her brother Bobby ate dinner and before she went to bed told her sister that she felt better.  At around 12:35am Emily woke up because she had thrown up a little, still with no fever I got her up and gave her a quick sponge bath, I changed her bed and put her “Doll Baby” that she carried everywhere with her in the washer I then put her back to bed around 12:50am and instantly she was asleep. When the wash was done at around 3:15am I returned to her room with her doll and laid it next to her.  Not hearing her breath I tried to wake her struggling to turn her already stiff body on to her back I knew she was dead. She had sepsis and was black and blue and splotchy all over except for the center of her face was snow white.  The coroners report listed her time of death was at 1:00 am est. and the cause was acute seizure episode due to acute suppurative meningitis.  Other conditions listed were: anomalous right pelvic kidney; status post cleft palate repair.  I do not know the connection if any whether or not having a cleft palate would increase your chances of getting meningitis. It would put my mind at ease to have an answer to why and how.  Through the support of family and friends and our church we are surviving one day or rather one second at a time.

            A of couple of weeks prior to losing Emily while taking a nap at home she woke up terrified from a dream. Not able to understand what she was trying to tell us her sister Cristina was.  Emily‘s dream consisted of three ghosts (she called them) they came to her and told her not to be afraid and that they were her friends and that they knew her sister Cristina, One of the ghost had red hair.  At the time I just sort of glossed over it and did not mention it again. She had the dream again a week later then a week after that she was gone. If I knew then what I know now obviously the ghosts were angels preparing her.  It truly is amazing! From her dreams I accept her being gone because I know for sure that I will see her again and that she is in the perfect place with God.  I know that everything that happens, good or bad is for a reason, Emily was an Angel here on earth and for her I am going to make something positive come from all of this. It is my promise to her.


Janet McBride

Emily’s Mommy