Ryan Wayne Milley
September 20, 1979 to June 22, 1998
Ryan age 16 and with mom and dad and age 18 in the top right.
| Christmas 2005
Well seven years has come and gone since you left for heaven. It seems so long yet so short. Dad and I were afraid we would forget you laugh, your smile, your voice but we haven't. It remains in our hearts and warms our memories with love.
By now you know Buddy has joined you in heaven. We miss him so.
Today seems really hard for some reason. I am just missing you so. Sometimes it feels dad and I are so alone. Life just seems to go one and sometimes it is as if we are on the outside looking in.
It is funny how you can be in a room filled and yet be so alone.
I continue to fight to stop the disease that took your life but sometimes it feels like a losing battle. Maybe I am just tired ...
Just about the time I think I want to give up this battle God shows me He is not through with me yet. There is a song called "The Warrior Is A Child" that is how I feel today. So if you can ask God to put his arms around me today and let me know He is close. That would be really good.
Baby Boy we love you so.
Oh Our Beautiful Boy Ryan:
I can not tell you how much we miss you. Our hearts hurt so bad. The days are filled mostly with tears. Your friends are around here allot. They take dad to play basket ball he hoses them some time. Shannon and Jose both received the Lord this past Christmas but then I guess you knew that because the Angels sang.
Oh baby Boy! Dad and I can not wait to see you again. I will travel to Russia in April to do medical work with the orphans. Please ask God to watch over your dad. He will miss us both. I will take you both in my heart. But then you never leave there.
Daddy made you a shadow box for all your things . Your letter jacket , your golf club, your sandals some little art work from first grade, your base ball gloves, your cap from graduation and all your old dirty golf caps. It is funny what has become so valuable to me and dad.
Mostly your memory. It keeps us going.
June 22, 2004
Your friends are moving on but holding you in their hearts. Murph is engaged to Brandi. Kyle is engaged. Aaron and Lori will marry in the fall. Danny and Jessica just got married. Pam and Zach just got married. The weddings were beautiful. It is so hard to sit through the mother son dance. It takes a little piece of my heart each time. your Jenni is engaged. We are happy she has someone to love her. Jennifer Smith just had beautiful twin girls.
Clayton and Meg are moving into a new house with baby E Ryan. Daddy is going to build him a fire truck bed. Craig called and said he was thinking of you . He lives in Austin and is also engaged. Jesse is going with someone special and believe it or not he buys gas to go all the way to Dallas to see her. Must be true love. LOL Chris and Tonja have a new baby brother for Little Ryan. they are so dear to our hearts. Luccas Ryan has a new baby brother.
Your friends all send their love.
But most of all your dad and I will hold you in our hearts till we join you again. We miss you baby...
Below are just a few notes sent in your memory today. See you soon baby boy. Mom and Dad
I wish that death was not known to us but as Christians we know we WILL see our loved ones again.
Meningitis took a part of you away that most will never under understand. It took a part of me away too but through it we met and look at what all we have done.
Look at what all you have done. I love you and Bob more than words can say.
II can't wait until July 16.
Today and always you are in my prayers. Cherice and
Ryan are both looking down on us as we continue to
keep their legacy alive.
Keep strong, we love you and your family for all that
you do for us.
(Cherice Angel Bound Mom)
Dear Frankie, My name is Allison Tucker.
I am sorry
that you have to grieve on this day but I wanted to
let you know that I am praying for you and Ryan. I
know how much it hurts to lose someone suddenly and unexpectedly. I was a very good friend of Mason Ott.
I am sure you know his family. I miss him terribly.
I know the day that someone you love dies is one that will never be forgotten and it is one that will never
seem to bring you joy. But, without this day we would not have you for your love and support, so I thank God
that he has put you in our lives. God works in incredible ways and I believe that he has used the end
of Ryan's earthly life so that you could start a new sort of life touching the lives of other people. I am
sorry again that there even has to be this day for you and your family. I know that Ryan is in good hands in
heaven and I am sure he is looking down on you.
Thank you for starting the Meningitis Angels! Have a blessed day.
In Him, Allison Tucker
Frankie God bless you today and always, Jackie
Dear Ryan, this I send to you
We’ve never met, I know it’s true
But know you well through mum and dad
The happy life and love you had
Dear Ryan, angel, from above
You’re still here with us and your love
You left a world of those you knew
And those who don’t, know you too
Dear Ryan, let me help you there
To mum and dad I send my care
Let God be with them, safe from harms
And comfort them within his arms
Dear Ryan, in your world today
You’re with us in your special way
Let me send my love to you.
God bless you Ryan, your Mum and Dad and all who knew you
From Ann (Leanne Ramsey’s Mum Scotland)
Your notes and thoughts bring tears to my eyes and tug at my heart and
soul. I cannot begin to understand or comprehend your loss, but only can
remember that practicing medicine (or public health) has been my way of
trying to contribute to diminish the sadness and loss in this world.
My life has been enriched through our meetings and I pledge to you to
continue to do what I can to safeguard your work and love for Ryan. He was
"quite a guy" and you and the Angels now must seek to compare notes on what
good he is doing and where he is doing it.
As I have just endured Kevin's second angel date
yesterday, I completely understand where you are. My thoughts and prayers
are with you.
Love Deb/mom to Kevin HBA
God willing. SO it will be six years. Well, Frankie, you can look at this a whole different way. It now has been six years since Ryan has been with God having a blast with all his needs being meant. He must have been so special for Jesus to want him near him. You did your job well getting him ready to meet his maker. Your should feel so good about knowing that God himself wanted Ryan to over see us down here. I do feel your pain, We love you for what you do. Good night and God Bless You. By the way your pain is ok, because soon that pain will be smiles and tears of knowing that your little boy had the privilege of meeting Jesus himself.... WOW
Frankie and Bob,
My heart is with you at this very tough time. Many of us wouldn't have
made it as far as we have with out the two of you. Know that we are
here for you now when you need us most. We love you. Ryan is watching
you and he is proud.
Kate and Carye
Hello Angel Family:
I know I don't write a lot on here anymore and I'm sorry! Please
don't forget me! I still want to be a part of this wonderful,
supportive family. To Frankie and Bob...may God and your dear, sweet
Ryan be with you. May God Bless you both today...you two are truly
Angels yourselves. I am here for you.
Faithful Daughter Lana
|On Your Child's Heavenly Rebirth day|
You are truly an Angel right here on earth, and with Ryan's help in heaven there is nothing you can't do! Your strength inspires Jenny & I so much. I know we say thank you for all you and the Meningitis Angels have done, but you really have no idea just how much you have helped & healed Jayden, Jenny & I. You are a blessing! Our thoughts and prayers are always with you. Love Andy, Jenny & Jayden
I'm so sorry, Frankie, this is the reality
that we escaped... my heart goes out to you and my huge admiration for your
courage. You have created a thing of beauty and grace, with Ryan. I met Andrew
Greenlee's Grandmother today at the doctors, Andrew died of meningitis age 14, 8 years ago. We talked about Heaven, she told me of how big a part Andrew continues to play in their lives. I told
her about how I realized Heaven is real during Emily's illness. I had not really believed before but I felt the Presence and the loving hands and I knew she would be safe. Then He granted her another
life... despite all her troubles, I am so, so glad. We are blessed to know you and to feel Ryan's powerful soul working in all our lives. As Lori says, I was lost until I found you and Angels. All of you make this possible, the support you have all sent us is so special. Even when I don't get a chance to reply to each dear
friend, know that your support is a blessing. Thank you again, Frankie and Bob, for the gift of Ryan, for bringing him into the world and for making such a beautiful celebration of his life and for
allowing us the gift of knowing him in Heaven. With my dearest love,
Dearest Bear : June 2, 2000
This is the month of your 21st Birthday.
Dad and I had planned how this day would be, how we would celebrate. We knew from the moment you were born how proud we would be of you when you reached manhood. You have always been a little man. Ryan please know we were always so proud of you and still are.
We knew your friends would all be around and there would be great laughter and fun.
But Baby Boy, excuse me, Baby Man that was not to be part of God's Plan.
So dad and I have placed a beautiful Angel fountain in your Garden and Dad is building a Dove House. We will place special flowers on your grave and your friends plan to go there on your birthday and return here for supper. We will remember you and there will be laughter and I am sure a few tears. But they will be tears of the joy from knowing you in all of our lives.
I have written a poem for you and all the sweet children gone with you to Heaven to be shared at Christmas with all of my Friends of Angel Children. I have enclosed it at the end of this letter for you to read.
Oh my Sweet Bear! How do we go on with out you? Our days are filled with memories of you. All beautiful except the day you left. That one even, with God's help has some beautiful memories for us.
You have to know you were the greatest gift Dad and I ever received. Your memory is still the greatest gift we have.
So on this September 20th your 21st birthday my Darling Bear.
I pray God will let you hear the whispers of "I Love You" from Dad , me, your family and ALL of your friends.
Till we meet you at the Gate Ryan. know you live in our hearts and you are always remembered with great love.
Your Mom and Dad
PS: I ran into your principal and those "old guys" LOL, you played golf with and they told me all about how they loved playing golf with you and how much they missed you. They also said what a fine young man you were.
See Bear you were always a little man. I say little you turned out to be 6'2" and still growing. LOL I guess that is why God decided you did not have to be here to turn 21 for that to happen.
Happy Birthday Baby Man !
September 20, 2001
How we long to see you at the
gates of heaven.
Today is your 23rd, birthday. Wow it hardly seems you have been gone 4 years already. Sometimes it feels as if it were yesterday and sometimes it feels like a life time. As you can see Jewels was here for your birthday celebration. She brought her friend Camilla.
Wow how all of your friends have grown up. It is so wonderful to have them all still come over and be with us. Dad and I know if it were not for them we would have not made it.
Many things have happened since your last birthday. Schmate has found the girl of his dreams. No, really, her name is Meg and she is so sweet, Ryan. You would love her. He had dad and I worried for a while. But he has found a keeper. They will marry next year.
My hearts hurts so bad. I work so hard to spread the word. And yet more and more angels join you each day and many more are left her with debilitations. It all seems so senseless . Sometimes I think I can't keep going and then one of our Angels sends me a note or a stranger tells me, because of you our kids are vaccinated. God gives me the strength to keep going.
I think often what would you be doing now. Would you and Jenni be married? Would you be playing golf with Tiger? Would dad and I be grand parents?
Well my sweet sweet baby, I have to go. Know that you are always so close to our hearts we feel you with every beat.
We love you baby, mom and dad
Dearest Ryan, this year on your birthday we left for New Jersey ,for the Angel Walk-A-Thon. You know Baby Alexa, one of those sweet Angel babies that live with you and the Angels, it was in her memory.
It was so wonderful. Dad and I got to hug some Angel moms and dads. Most of all we got to hug Carye and Johnny. You know they are two of your little ones you watch over.
I guess I need to bring you up to date.
As you already know Uncle Benny came to join you in Heaven.
Clayton married Meg and they now have the sweetest little baby boy. His name is Ethan Ryan. The wedding was beautiful. It was also very hard. But Clayton and I knew you were close by. It was so hard when Clayton danced with his mom. I could hardly breath. It made me realize I would never dance at your wedding. The pain and the joy seem to all run together. Meg and Clayton made dad and I feel special. I think back about you telling me Schmate could live in your room. It was like you knew.
Murph and Clayton and Aaron are all fire fighters. Aaron is engaged to Lori, you remember her. She is very sweet.
Jesse is still going to school and Bubba is working. Krystal lives in North Carolina and Brandi is expecting a baby. By the way I am sending you a photo of the crib your dad made for her in your memory. Pam is engaged to Zach Vallejo and Shannon has moved back home. Jenni is out of dental school and working and will probably marry soon. I miss her. William is still in school , Gordon is in Irac and Danny works on a ranch in Bryan. We saw Marcus and Angela the other day they are expecting again. Hopefully we will have a little Ryan this time. Their little girl is so beautiful. Nick married and lives in Washington and is a Secret Service Agent. Jennifer is married and has 2 sweet step daughters and a pretty new home .
Your cousins are all married and have sweet children of their own.
Tara and Jared are all grown up and still speak of you often.
Oh! and by the way we have a foreign exchange student with us. Tomas', he is 18 and a senior. I think sometimes your spirit speaks through him, as he picks on me pretty bad. He has brought dad joy. He smiles more than I have seen him smile since you left. I also put his picture here for you to see.
Baby we miss you so much. It is 5 years since you left for heaven. The pain has eased some and more memories take its' place.
This January will be 30 years dad and I have been married. Sometimes it is like all we have is each other and the memories of you. It is so hard sometimes to find enough life within ourselves to go on but God has given us strength and the promise we will see you again, This is what keeps us going.
Well, baby boy, Happy Birthday, we love you. Mom and Dad
I am sure you are greatly missed, and May God Be With You
FT Worth Texas
September 20, 2004
Hi baby it is your 25th birthday.... wow 25. So much has happened this year. Murph, Pam and Aaron all got married. this is such a bitter sweet time for my heart.
The week of your birthday I was in Atlanta working with CDC on the dissemination of materials on the new vaccine for meningitis coming out. Finally a move forward so other will not have to join you.
It seems so long since you left for Heaven and yet I can still feel you so close. This I am sooo!!! thankful for. Dad is still sad as am I but we know we will see you again.
Well baby, please know we love you for always and you remain on our hearts forever young and beautiful.
Moma and Daddy
I wish I could tell you how much your mother has helped me, she is a wonderful angel, one day I will have a chance to tell you but until then please watch over her, I have never met your mom, but have emailed her several times, And she has helped so many with your web site, I bet she was the best mother, you were very lucky to have her, May God always Bless your family. Just another way of me saying Thank you for your mother and you Ryan.
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